your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
