people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
