I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
