Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
