i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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