First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
