I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
