Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have tasted many bathrooms
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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