That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
