Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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