Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
