I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
zippers are such a cool invention
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
