8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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