I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
