That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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