I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
