and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
