And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
