I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
