It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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