wat bout pragnant strippers??
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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