brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
