I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize