Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
