ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize