Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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