That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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