who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
