yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
