sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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