Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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