The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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