Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
