I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
soo... how was my night?
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