Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
