in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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