Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
