Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
