I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
