last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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