this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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