No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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