Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
nutella sex= disaster
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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