sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
