drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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