Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
