After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
