Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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