The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When did angry sex become our thing?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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