Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
