Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
