I need help removing her.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
