I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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