Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
