So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize