Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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