I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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