Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Your cock deserves a montage
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
