They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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