is wine microwaveable?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
