you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
