in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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