this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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