Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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