I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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