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• (206): View more from Washington

  he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone

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• (207): View more from Maine

  hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."

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• (845): View more from New York

  Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person

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• (916): View more from California

  They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk

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• (509): View more from Washington

  This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'

  (406): View more from Montana

  I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.

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