Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
