how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
