Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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