Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Terrible idea I love it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize